The Home Invaders

OK, so they aren't quite what you're thinking.  The Home Invaders are what I am now calling my niece, Destiny, and nephew, Boogie.  Aren't they something else?  Boogie is 14 and Destiny is 13.

Earlier in the summer, they realized I lived close to the Ben & Jerry Factory.  So began the questions about a visit.  Them leaving CT to come to NH to visit without their parents.  They got so excited.  Every time I visited, which is a lot, they say "We're ready when you are."  Some how they discovered when my vacation started and so did their plan.  Of course I fell for it.  It started like this:

Boogie: Titi (spanish for auntie), so your vacation starts tomorrow.  When are you coming to get me and Destiny?
Me:  How did you know my vacation was starting?
Boogie:  Ummmm, you told us O_o

And he knew I would be down that weekend.  I warned their parents.  Told them to get permission. And they did.  They were hoping to get a week but I was like two to three days MAX!   Their parents then became concerned for me.  Laury tells me Destiny does not stay anywhere overnight.  The two together are something else. But I knew they would be fine and I could handle it.... right?!?!

We get in the car, Destiny and Boogie are READY!  Their moms, Jojo and Laury, sad because this is the first time they are more than 30 mins away without them.  Their dads... "HAVE FUN!!!  SIS, you got this." The youngest, Yeilani, 3, and Kaliyah, 3, say bye with kisses.  Yaznese, 8, not so happy with me for leaving her behind.  Briana, 10, says "YES! Destiny is leaving."

The drive is only about two hours and the two of them are so anxious.  We get in and I give the rules:

• Don't wake me up
• Wash your hand before going in my kitchen
• Clean up behind yourself
• You are at home
• Check in with your parents

I give them all their needs for their stay, check on them constantly.  They find the exercise ball and they are having fun.  They check in and get the usual speech.  We discuss our plans for their stay, I go to bed.  

The next morning I wake up to this:

Do you think they were hungry?  I comply with the request.

We then go to the driving range and do mini golf and hit some golf balls.  They learned a little something.

          

Then we spent the evening just hanging out.  As the also took over my patio.

The next morning they put in their breakfast request but I had to wake them up.  They slept through the FedEx man banging on the door.  SMH!

We went to Cabot Cheese, where Destiny thought it was GREAT idea to try all the spicy cheeses at once.  Oh Destiny! I treated them to chocolate which must've been good because I just heard munching.  We then went to Cold Hollow Cider Mill but they ran out of apples, so we got donuts to go. Then to watch a little glass blowing, ornaments were the demo of the day and it was pretty cool.  Finally, to the place that was the goal of the trip the BEN & JERRY's ICE CREAM FACTORY!

We took the tour, got samples, got ice cream cones, visited the flavor graveyard, and had laughs and fun.

At the end of the day, this made it all worth it.  To see these two faces with their big happy smiles.

We returned home and they called their parents and had dinner on the patio. They were scared by the UPS guy knocking on the door. We all got a good laugh out of that.


The next day, I took them home.  They had so much fun. When I returned home, it was so quiet, the Home Invaders weren't here to banish me to my room and take over the whole place.  No giggles, no rolling on the exercise ball, no random pop ins to my room to say "Hi!" with a big smile, no requests for food. But they did leave me a message.

I sure do love them too.  And we all survived!  Happy and healthy!

Dating and your parents...

I'm at that age where my dating life is an hourly question. I'm sure many of you can relate. The comments and questions.

Who are you dating?

Can I hook you up?

Boy, do I have a good one for you.

You're getting up there. 





All of these make me chuckle regardless of who says it. But what I find funniest are the ways parents deal with their children dating regardless of age. The dynamics are different based on the parent and the sex of the child. I think about my whole family and laugh because it's all there.










Let's start with the father/son combo. It's a little easier. Men expect their sons to date, and do so frequently. No sweat. The pressure comes from the father making sure his son is weighing his options so to speak.



Mother/son and relationships are not quite as easy. Mothers love their baby boys and sons love their mamas. No one can ever add up. But moms know there is dating but they are very opinionated on the woman at hand. She's thinking about how this woman will treat her special boy, so there is a bit of toughness there. And let's be honest a man doesn't want his mama to know too much. Though your woman has a lot of work to get through mom.



Mother/daughter can vary. Mothers generally pick what would be a good man for them to match their daughter.  I wonder if that's why they say so many women marry their fathers?!?!?!  Moms have high standards because not only do they want you dating, they want you looking for a husband and to become a baby making machine so they can have grandbabies to spoil. Maybe that's just my mom. That's a lot, especially when you have your own plans. And yes, they try to hook you up, and if they are like my mom they are usually completely off.


Father/daughter is what I say is the toughest. Maybe because that's how my life goes.  Fathers want to see their little girls happy and successful and forever their little girls. Then comes the realization men, who are not relatives, will be a part of this process.  Dads do not like their little girls with men not them, though at times they will say things like "maybe someone will take her off my hands???!?!" He does not mean it. Dads throw temper tantrums at the thought of their daughters dating. No man will ever be good enough.  When a daughter brings a guy home all a dad thinks about is what he did or thought at that age when it came to girls.  At the same time dads want their baby girls to be with someone who can care for her equally or better than he ever could because he can't always be around. He fears being replaced as the hero in her life. Her innocence... and if you've had a great father, your expectations are high for the man you let in your life. This is a tough business.

While none of these are easy, they are consistent cycles. One not easier than the other, just different. Hopefully with the right person, it will all happen in a funny and somewhat peaceful way.

Happy dating and meeting the parents!!

I miss you

I miss you more than words can express. I'm searching for answers I may never get  all I know is God took a true Angel. You touched the hearts and lives of do many. Did more in 25 years than most do in 80. You made new proud. And I'm honored you are my little, baby brother in life and in death. You have broken my heart in ways I never thought anyone could. Finding joy its bout the same without you. I pray God brings you back to me and relieve ask this heart ache and pain. I'll never understand why though I want to. I'll just wait to see you in heaven when time is right. You are my Angel. I tried protecting you in life and I know you watch over me and protect me more. I love you, miss you and hurt at the thought of days on earth without you. Rest in paradise my baby brother.

New travel territories

With my wonderful new gig comes some new travel opportunities.

Last week I was in Little Rock, which was much like Georgia for me. My first time there. I love meeting students who want to leave the south.  It was a productive trip. On top of it I was able to meet some wonderful professionals and see old acquaintances.

This week is Michigan, another first time. My grandfather loved here pretty much my whole life and I had never been. Nonetheless I have a travel partner. Overall, it's going well. Great for a first visit to Michigan considering I've never traveled here before. He had a wealth of knowledge about the school systems. The Alumni base is great and uber excited. Amazing.

Next is the 100 black men event on Chicago. Another first. I'll have an intern with me which is great.

So many wonderful new opportunities and it's only my one month anniversary on the job.  Feels like I been there forever and it's the perfect fit for me. I've been blessed and couldn't ask for anything more.

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!

It's Friday!  I'm tired.  My dad never sends forward but this one was FUNNY!  Enjoy and happy stormy weekend.  Be safe.

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!  

(THIS IS FOR OLD FOLKS - NOT YOU)

                                                                                       
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report
that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she
explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've
stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and
even the accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said,
'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes
later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says.
'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!
________________________________________________________________________

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house
together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts
her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters,
'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The
94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come
up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses
'Was I going up the stairs or down?' The 92-year-old was
sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her
sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I
never get that forgetful, knock on wood...' She then
yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as
I see who's at the door.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
________________________________________________________________________

'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf
one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy,
isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied,
'it's Thursday..' And the third man chimed in,
'So am I. Let's have a beer.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
_______________________________________________________________________
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a
nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of
her nightgown and say 'Supersex...' She walked up to
an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him,
she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a moment
or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the
soup.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
____________________________________________________________________
Now this one is just too Precious...LOL!
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over
the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and
adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to
meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the
other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ... I know
we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't
think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I
can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is..'
Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she
just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How
soon do you need to know?'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
_____________________________________________________________________
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell
phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice
urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news
that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman,
'It's not just one car.. It's hundreds of them!'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
_________________________________________________________________

DRIVING
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both
could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising
along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red,
but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger
seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could
have sworn we just went through a red light.'
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection
and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The
woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light
had been red but was really concerned that she was losing
it. She was getting nervous.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red
and they went on through. So she turned to the other woman
and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran
through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us
both!'
Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

Too Old or Too Tired

Maybe both?!?!

When it comes down to going out am I the only one my age who just feels and old and/or tired to handle it anymore? It's time to go out and I find a movie or tv show to pre-occupy me. Once I just started cleaning....

Then when I do get there, I watch the clock to how much longer before closing. Yawning excessively. Oh boy. Please note I am known for take naps while out. Lol. And the noise boy, how am I not deaf?

When it's time to go home I'm ready. I move swifty to the car. Once home I greet my bed warmly.

Am I just tired or am I too old for this?

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Historically Black Greek Life...

I went a college that was well in the sticks.  That's right.  The Brooklyn girl, stepped out of her comfort zone and into amish country.  Culture shock 101, 102and 201.  HA!  I just knew that I was going to a historically black college and join a historically black sorority.  But I guess a higher power had a different plan for me. 

As I went on to the prodominantly white institution (PWI as they call them now), I really had no idea the world I was stepping into, but luckily, it all worked out.  As I began to find my place at the school, myself and many other students of color realized, there was no greek organization of interest to us.  Particularly black students.  There was no historically black sorority or fraternity for us to join.  As a young black person growing up, especially, from the south, joining a historically black sorority or fraternity was expected.  It is embedded in all that we see.  As you watched A Different World, they were there was pledging.

And we see it continued in movies like Stomp the Yard.

Working for schools in the Northeast, and attending them, is hard for a student of color, because being in a historically black sorority or fraternity is important to many but it's not there.

For some reason, I decided tonight to take another look at the sororities to see where they are, as many of my aquaintances have joined post-grad.  It's amazing to see that there is a lack of presence in the northeast.  I will not say which sorority I considered joining then, but I will say it is on my mind to join as a post-grad to meet people and build a bond as I move forward in my life and career.

Does having this organizations at a PWI make it better for students of color or black students?  You are allowed to pledge on other campuses if it is not available at your institution but it may not be the easiest to get to.  Do students of color lose out by attending PWIs without these organizations?

Many students come to me asking about greek life regardless of their ethnicity or race. As an "independent," who attended a PWI, and attempted to bring two of these organizations to their campus, no.  The intent is not to negate the positive effects of having these organizations but you can survive withouth them.  What's most important is to remember that you are a student FIRST!  What makes me proud of the women that I attended school with who tried, they were not willing to sacrifice what they had going already.  They knew what they stood for, and made the decision based on their own needs. 

If you don't do it in college, you can still join post-grad.  If I can look now, so can you.  Historically black sororities and fraternities are important to our culture and our nation.  They each do great work for thier membership and communities.  You just need to know if it's right , which is right and the timing for yourself.  Keep historically black greek life going but also remember yourself in the process.