Pressure Parents

I was out the other night, I decided to go to dinner because well I was tired. When you are alone in a busy restaurant, you overhear more than you choose. There was a family of three sitting behind me, parents and a young teenage man. They were talking about his sporting event. From the moment they sat down, they were on his case as to what he needed to do to get better. He needed to improve and be more like another young man. Hearing these parents compare and mention all the negatives, broke my heart. I know they meant well, as any loving parent would. But I also know what these types of conversations can do to a child. Just hearing his voice, I guesstimated that he was probably in 9th grade. When I saw him, I was probably right.

There conversation then shifted to his college future. They had decided that he was going to have to attend a list consisting of only three school, all Ivy League or close to it. He vocal demeanor changed. Without malicious intent, they have managed to bring down the hopes of their young child. What was funny to me was that there was never a mention of his academics and how they needed to be cream of the crop to get into the school they mentioned. It will take more than a sport or two to get and keep a child in college and maintain success.

Hearing this conversation made me want to turn around and stop them. I wanted to encourage him not to limit himself. To enjoy his young days. I know that early awareness is important but when it comes with put-downs, it is counter-productive. I wanted to tell the parents to mention was he did well in his competition, what makes them proud. But, alas, I maintained my will-power not to throw myself into their conversation. My mother always tells me I need to learn not to always jump in to the rescue with my commentary. Everyone isn't looking for that. She is right, but I am a vocal person, especially when it is for the right reasons.

No I have no children of my own, but I do consider the young people to work with as partly my own. I learn so much from these young people. I do not know what the rules of good parenting are, but there are times that the person looking in from the outside, sees more than those in the situation

Yield Event Time

We are in the works fo yield events. Those choosing our dates may not have looked the the calendar thoroughly as we have 3 different events in less than one week's time. I must admit that I am tired from the two big events of yesterday that have rolled into today. Including my coming in early to accommodate a phone interview with a student from California.

Less not talk about the big staff of orange folders waiting for me to review for a decision. Or the fact that there is no heat in the building today. LOL this just gets better. My plants are enjoying themselves :-) Good thing for my super space heater from Home Depot. Oh and the coffee maker I bought for my desk. It may be time for a cup.

Stay warm and happy Yielding to the Admission people of the world.

I couldn't do it

I went to the pet store prepared to purchase a little fishy to add to come plant collection. Let me preface this with, Adria is not a pet person at all. There is doubt about it. Pets have never been my strong point. This time I thought I could do it. A little fishy... SIMPLE!

I pull into the parking lot and walk into the pet store, first there are little furry friends... I begin to pray under my breath that my eyes don't swell up and that they are securely locked in these cages. Then come the nosey little birds. Chirp Chirp. Fighting, colorful, doing what little birds do. I proceed to walk by them shaking my head and grunting "uh huh." Classic Adria moment. I see the fish tanks an proceed to walk towards them. Starting with the goldfish. My stomach became a little queasier with each step. There were also bads of grass hoppers in between.

I am looking at these colorful fish. Pretty colors and thinking , "I feel sorry if one of you gets taken home and I am not able to keep you alive. I can't do this." BOY! I looked just to see an felt so sorry for the fish, and for me. I don't know what came over me. Then I turn around to the Betta fish and one was dead in the store. Oh my goodness, I decided it was time to leave. I walked out of the store grunting "uh huh, I can't do this. Nope this is not for me. I willl stick to my plants."

I got in the car and gained my composer and called my mom to share with her my story. She was not surprised as I have never been the pet person. I then asked her where my bird, Herbie, came from when I was little. She informed me that my aunt just went out and bought it. We went on and on about how much of a headache Herbie was. UGH that bird. And when he died she didn't know what to do or tell us. It was acutally a while before I noticed Herbie was MIA. When she painfully told me he was dead, all I could say or think at 7years old.... "Oh ok." I informed her how much I was not a fan of my own pet but I didn't want to hurt her feelings. LOL He was one bad lovebird trust me.

Then she talked about my brother and his reptiles the hermit crabs and fish that my aunt and uncle got him. Those things grossed me out. I did not like having them in the house. But everytime one died he showed up with another one. WHY?

She sai this is why she wasn't surprised my mission to bring home a fishy was a fail. She, too, told me to stick with my plants. Thanks Mom.

Who deserves to be in college?

Today was a long day, as it is that time of year. But today, I heard something come out of someone's mouth that, well mad me angry as I don't know what. We were discussing offering opportunities to students, and the caliber of the students at a particular school. While having this discussion with someone who has a terminal degree, claims to be dedicated to educating the next generation, and has two children of his own, he made a comment that well, made me stop and pray to myself.

The comment referred to underserved or diamonds in the rough, not deserving to be in college. I know me and I can just imagine the face I made at him that probably said "it's best if you stop talking because you might make me say something you're not going to like." I wear my thoughts on my face. I then bowed my head and asked the Lord to give the strength and not stoop to his level by saying what I really wanted to say.

Yes, admission professionals make decisions each day about what students receive acceptances to their respective institutions, but they are not saying anyone does not deserve a college education if they choose that is what is right for them. It just means their path may be different. For someone who claims to be well-educated, that was the most uneducated comment I have ever heard. Students, people, we all, have some much holding us back, why do we continue to place more barriers in front of those who have a bigger battle than the average student, person?

To that person, EVERY student who wants to go to college, deserves a chance at college. Whether it a post-grad year before going to college, community college, technical school, etc. THEY DESERVE IT! And you can quote me on that.

RIP Biggie Smalls..14 years

Do you remember where you were when you heard the news about Biggie?

I am a Brooklyn Girl through and through. Not quite a Bed Stuy girl, but it's all Brooklyn Love. Wow it's been 14 years since the hip hop world lost one of the greatest... Christopher "Notorius B.I.G." Wallace... Otherwise known as Biggie Smalls. I have never been the biggest rap fan but I could not help but love Biggie Smalls.

It was Sunday, March 9, 1997. It was my mother's birthday.. and a church day. We woke up and did the Sunday ritual of preparing for church and wishing mom a happy birthday. We got to church and Pastor Griffin was saying a special prayer for the young man Brooklyn lost. It was Pastor Griffin that informed me and my whole family of the loss of Biggie Smalls. He changed his sermon to reach out to the young people in the santuary to learn from this life lesson.

I was so shocked by the news. After church, you could feel the loss even in the elders. The day of his funeral, my parents left me no option but to be at school. I was still living and in order to keep moving, I would need to be in school. Plus they were concerned for our safety. But there were tv's in school for us to watch the service and his last ride through Brooklyn. It was heart warming the connection such a tragedy brought to a borough not known for its softer side.

Thank you Biggie for touching more than you realize. You will be missed and always appreciated.

Breakfast for Dinner

Since, I've been so drained lately.. I decided I'd take it easy tonight since I have a long day tomorrow. I decided, I'd rent a few movies... Oh Redbox, how I love thee. Get a salad and wellprob my feet up in my second fav spot, the couch. Well I went to the grocery store to get the salad and well I had the light bulb effect. BREAKFAST! I missed it this morning due to unforseen circumstances. Let's take it back.

As I walked through the store I could taste it, egg white omlette with peppers, corn, cheese. Roasted potatoes. And my weakness.. BACON! And it was on sale. WOO HOO! It was meant to be. I roasted the bacon with the potatoes. Mmmmm the smells in my apartment brightened my day alone. The egg whites mix mmm. It tastes even better. With a side of grape crystal light. Boy was I one happy girl. I don't feel more relaxed, but I am one happy girl after dinner breakfast. Though I probably should cut back on the amount of peppers, I had them in everything today. But they are so good.

If I wasn't doing a college prep panel tomorrow night in Malden. But there is alwways Friday!

If you're wondering..

I have calmed down from last night's rant. It is not easy to try to help someone and come to the realization that they do not want your help and assistance. I have never been the type to just take "no" as an aswer. There is almost always more that can be done. For now that more would be focusing on my Master's Project so that I can GRADUATE! WOO HOO! Oh yeah and take a nap because I am drained.

I have a great window seat at the library and the sun is shining on me. Hopefully it get me through today's assignment.

You don't know me...

I have to get this off my chest. I am in the middle of working on my project plan for school but had to stop and get this out.

Today, there were communication exchanges between my little cousin (freshly 20 years old), my little brother (24 years old) and well myself (older than the other two). My brother and I do not often see eye-to-eye on well, anything. But today, we agreed on one thing, we wanted to see the best for this cousin and others. Unfortunately, she does not see it.

As I pride myself on the ability to offer access and opportunity to others, how could I not want to do the same from someone I watched grow up. I remember the day she was born. I was happy to have yet another cousin. I reached out to her because I noticed she had nothing productive going on in her life. She then got upset that I asked, because I was too serious about life and put too much pressure on her and a couple of others to be exact. At which point I chuckled because no where in the message was there pressure. I did not acknowledge it, as I wanted her to think about her actions.

Now, if you think that I'm opinionated, you should meet my little brother. He immediately responds to her letting her know that her actions now will effect life later. Her excuses said nothing. He let her know that in order to be successful in life, you have to be doing something useful.

She IMMEDIATELY put up her wall of defense and said she was grown and no one should be questioning her. That my brother and I have put too much pressure and expectations on her. She accused me of taking like too seriously and not enjoying life. She was doing things with her life in August by going to school on the other side of the world, California. I continued to laugh at the immaturity of this girl who thinks she's a woman.

I sit back and allow her to argue with my brother, as he was sharing some incredible information with her. But I sat up when I noticed she then started blaming me for her mistakes. Well, that's when I put the brakes on her and let her know that I only want to see the best for her. If I can help her learn from my own life lessons, that's what I will do. I am not so much concerned about what she chooses to do but how it will effect her life. Though she does not think that I have seen or experienced anything she hs, I will not argue with her. I know what I know. I made it clear to her that because we are family does not mean I have to care but I CHOOSE to care. She then proceeds to say I don't care because I don't check in on her. I laughed because 10 minutes ago, I was too nosey. It felt like I was on the Jerry Springer stage.

Why do I work so hard? I have always worked so hard to set a good example for those younger than me and some older than me. I want them to see hard work gets you to your dreams, freeloading gets you what your benefactor allows you to have. Our goal was to help her see that she can stand on her own two feet. Is that too much? I have worked and continue to work hard to better my own life. So what did I learn from this? As the two sayings go:
"I won't help those who won't and can't help themselves."
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."

But ask that 20 year old, I don't know her, care for her, or love her. Honey, if that were the case, would I be arguing with you about the possibilities of your future and then blogging about it?

Whew I feel better. Thanks for listening